🚀 We’re Hiring: Full-Stack Sandwich Developer (On-Site | Alcamo HQ)
Company: Web Tuned
Location: Alcamo (Full Presence, No Remote – we believe in real human synergy, especially when hunger hits)
Industry: IT Consulting / Digital Transformation / Performance-Driven Snacking
🌟 Who We Are
Web Tuned is a boutique IT consulting firm with international mindset, lean execution, and a relentless focus on delivering outcomes.
We build software. We ship features.
And sometimes… we ship panini.
🎯 The Role
To strengthen our mission-critical daily operations, we’re looking for a:
Full-Stack Sandwich Developer
You will own the end-to-end sandwich delivery pipeline, ensuring uninterrupted developer productivity through high-availability carbs.
This is a high-impact position at the intersection of logistics, snackOps, and human resilience.
🔥 Key Responsibilities
* End-to-end sandwich procurement and deployment (panini, focaccia, arancini — we are framework-agnostic).
* Low-latency food delivery to one (1) highly hungry developer with strict SLAs.
* Midday incident response: handling unexpected disruptions like:
* "They ran out of mortadella"
* "The line is too long"
* "He said 'no mayo' but they added mayo"
* Vendor relationship management with local sandwich providers (strategic partnerships only).
* Requirements gathering:
* "How hungry are you?"
* "What’s your preferred stack?"
* "Any breaking changes (diet) today?"
* Quality Assurance: verify panino integrity (bread stability, filling alignment, sauce containment).
* Release management: handoff the panino without causing keyboard contamination.
* Continuous improvement: reduce delivery time, increase crunchiness, optimize happiness KPIs.
* Post-deployment monitoring: confirm the developer returns to coding and stops looking dead inside.
🧠Ideal Candidate
* Strong ownership and accountability mindset.
* Calm under pressure when the developer says: "If I don’t eat in 5 minutes I will refactor the entire codebase."
* Excellent prioritization skills (sandwich > everything).
* High emotional intelligence: can interpret silent rage and hunger-driven sarcasm.
* Discretion and professionalism in executive-level snack interactions.
✅ Nice to Have (but not required)
* Experience in fast-paced environments (e.g., lunch rush survival mode).
* Familiarity with local vendor ecosystem (knowing who has the best bread is basically seniority).
* Driving license B (plus).
* Ability to carry two panini at once (this is basically a leadership trait).
* Knowledge of Git (so you can revert a bad sandwich order).
💼 What We Offer
* Direct exposure to a very hungry developer.
* High-impact role with measurable daily KPIs:
* Time-to-Panino (TTP)
* Crunch Rate
* Developer Mood Index (DMI)
* Sauce Leak Incidents (SLI)
* Meritocratic, performance-oriented culture.
* Concrete growth path toward Senior Sandwich Delivery Coordinator or Head of Carbohydrate Operations.
* Competitive compensation aligned with local market benchmarks*
* *paid in vibes, memes, and occasional "thank you bro".
📩 How to Apply
You don’t.
Seriously: this is a parody post.
If you reached this line, congratulations—you’ve passed the reading comprehension test, which already puts you in the top percentile of internet applicants.
Let’s tune operations. Every single lunchtime. 🥪🚀
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