We're Hiring: Full-Stack Sandwich Developer (On-Site | Alcamo HQ)Company: Web TunedLocation: Alcamo (Full Presence, No Remote – we believe in real human synergy, especially when hunger hits)Industry: IT Consulting / Digital Transformation / Performance-Driven SnackingWho We AreWeb Tuned is a boutique IT consulting firm with international mindset, lean execution, and a relentless focus on delivering outcomes.We build software. We ship features.And sometimes... we ship panini.The RoleTo strengthen our mission-critical daily operations, we're looking for a:Full-Stack Sandwich DeveloperYou will own the end-to-end sandwich delivery pipeline, ensuring uninterrupted developer productivity through high-availability carbs.This is a high-impact position at the intersection of logistics, snackOps, and human resilience.Key Responsibilities
End-to-end sandwich procurement and deployment (panini, focaccia, arancini — we are framework-agnostic).Low-latency food delivery to one (1) highly hungry developer with strict SLAs.Midday incident response: handling unexpected disruptions like:"They ran out of mortadella""The line is too long""He said 'no mayo' but they added mayo"Vendor relationship management with local sandwich providers (strategic partnerships only).Requirements gathering:"How hungry are you?""What's your preferred stack?""Any breaking changes (diet) today?"Quality Assurance: verify panino integrity (bread stability, filling alignment, sauce containment).Release management: handoff the panino without causing keyboard contamination.Continuous improvement: reduce delivery time, increase crunchiness, optimize happiness KPIs.Post-deployment monitoring: confirm the developer returns to coding and stops looking dead inside.
Ideal Candidate
Strong ownership and accountability mindset.Calm under pressure when the developer says: "If I don't eat in 5 minutes I will refactor the entire codebase."Excellent prioritization skills (sandwich > everything).High emotional intelligence: can interpret silent rage and hunger-driven sarcasm.Discretion and professionalism in executive-level snack interactions.
Nice to Have (but not required)
Experience in fast-paced environments (e.g., lunch rush survival mode).Familiarity with local vendor ecosystem (knowing who has the best bread is basically seniority).Driving license B (plus).Ability to carry two panini at once (this is basically a leadership trait).Knowledge of Git (so you can revert a bad sandwich order).
What We Offer
Direct exposure to a very hungry developer.High-impact role with measurable daily KPIs:Time-to-Panino (TTP)Crunch RateDeveloper Mood Index (DMI)Sauce Leak Incidents (SLI)Meritocratic, performance-oriented culture.Concrete growth path toward Senior Sandwich Delivery Coordinator or Head of Carbohydrate Operations.Competitive compensation aligned with local market benchmarks**paid in vibes, memes, and occasional "thank you bro".
How to ApplyYou don't.Seriously: this is a parody post.If you reached this line, congratulations—you've passed the reading comprehension test, which already puts you in the top percentile of internet applicants.Let's tune operations. Every single lunchtime.#J-18808-Ljbffr